Sho'nuff Funny

Over MLK weekend, my brother and sister (and their families) came for a visit; and since January is monsoon season here in Georgia, we rented a couple of movies to help entertain us - one of them being Paranormal Activity.

Horror movies really aren't my thing. However, the sasquatch absolutely adores them and monkey has recently shown interest in them; so I watch them to monitor what's seen and lay down the law on what they're exposed to. So to have my prescreen viewing, we threw all the kids down in the dungeon game room, and the adults curled up for some horror time.

I was completely chagrined the moment the movie started. To say that it was a low budget flick would be kind and the directing was really quite sad. Unfortunately, since we were entertaining, the Franklins could not evoke our 15 minute rule. This rule states should a movie be so impossibly frustrating, boring, stupid, or deplorable we shall not waste 2 hours of our lives on said movie. So I hunkered down & prepared to have the life sucked out of me.

During the course of the movie, which really didn't turn out to be all that bad (I say this because I know it could have been so much worse-- because... I have seen the Grudge) I decided this was in no way a movie Isaiah could see. He for sure would have his 12 year old booty in the bed with us for eternity.

Never have I been so certain I made the right decision as I was the following day.

Company was gone, Colby had gone to his girlfriend’s house, and Lee and I were watching TV when Izzy came flying out of the bathroom with his pants down - quite flustered- saying "I was wiping (my behind) and I heard someone in the bathroom say my name!"

Now he walks around w/ his head lamp and a baseball bat… just in case.

Take 5 #007

-1-

Complete concentration and lengthy mundane tasks require that I lick my lips incessantly. Consequently, me and Blistex are like peas and carrots.

-2-

I'm currently trying to teach my obnoxious mongrels (who are 16 and 12) that their faces will indeed NOT melt off if they actually smile for the camera... It's like having 2-year-olds all over again. Perhaps I should break out with the feather dusters and tickle their cheeks.

-3-

I've watched no less than a hundred International House Hunters lately for no other reason than extreme boredom. *Exaggeration is key when you're bored*. It's quite educational, and I must say I'm extremely happy and blessed to be living in the US - where refrigerators are the size of small cars and the potty closets are bigger than a shoe box.

-4-

Sometimes, I tend to think that I've trained the men of my house well - then I go into the kitchen and find 3 empty doughnut boxes and I discover just how delusional I can be. This dilemma also extends to cracker boxes, potato chip bags, cookie packages, and lunch meat wrappers. I haven't quite figured out how to master this problem yet; thankfully I have about a year before my oldest is college-able (<--- that's a made up word by the way - right off the cuff). Maybe he'll understand 'rubbish dynamics' by then.

-5-

I am by no means an uber tech savvy individual. I email, I text, I facebook, I tweet, I game, and I'm a down right shutter-bug; but when it comes to actually making stuff work on the PC, I'm just doing good to remember where the power button is. This isn't to say that I can't be taught, only that I do not wish to expel the energy required to accomplish more serious tasks. So it was really no shock to my husband when I shared with him that I managed to completely obliterate my blog over the past two days trying to change the background.

My goal was to achieve a less 'crafty' appearance on my blog. Let's face it, those who know me know the scrapbook look just really isn't me - nor are the generic templates offered to start one off. Therefore, blogger background domination now sits at the top of my to-do list, and I'll conquer it... as soon as my brain recovers.

Breakfast Humor

Monkey and I were sitting down at breakfast this morning and I was staring off in deep thought. Isaiah tentatively touched my arm –

“Are you ok?” he asked.

My attention turned back to him

“Yeah, I was just thinking about something.”

“You look violent when you’re thinking hard.”

...

Take 5 #006

-1-

The boys keep stealing pencils off my desk instead of fetching new ones from the school supply box when they need them. However, I think I have masterminded a new defense.

-2-

Why is it when you go to a restaurant and order water they give you like a 3 oz cup? It’s like just because you ordered water your not thirsty. I like water; I drink it 99% of the time; and when I eat, I drink a lot. I did discover, however, most establishments are happy to give you a larger cup for a small fee of like 75 cents - perhaps a dollar. But that sure beats getting up 20 times for refills – no matter how much exercise you need.

-3-

Lee and I went shopping one cold winter day not long ago. The thermostat in our car has issues – has for years. We’ve tried to have it seen about and no one can find the problem, so Lee has rigged the system to where it at least functions. This leaves us with two temp settings – frostbite & melt. I know, I know, it’s archaic; but bear in mind we’ve not had a car payment going on 5 years now, and that my friend is one sweet feelin’.

Anyhow – when you are set to melt, heat blows right off the heater core; so if you want to be warm AND breathe while you’re driving around in the winter, you simply must crack the windows. So, here we are coasting down the road around 45mph, enjoying our date day, talking about what we are going to eat for lunch and what stores we can’t survive without visiting… SUV beside us drives through a huge puddle of water… water splashes through my 1.5 inch crack and lands right on my face. Only in my world folks – only in my world.

-4-

I absolutely hate it when I purchase something and then hide it from myself. My latest item is a tube of lip gloss. Usually it’s something arbitrary like safety pins or batteries, but lip gloss? /sigh

-5-

We’ve lived in Gwinnett County for going on 10 years now; and you can bet if there’s inclement weather, you won’t know if the county is closing before you go to bed. I was up ‘till midnight last night. Every county surrounding Gwinnett had announced they were closing – not Gwinnett. They finally decided to post their closing around 4:30am. In truth; today, the weather and the roads are much better than during the ice storm of 2005 when they refused to close the schools. But who’s keeping track?

Pics from snow dusting 01-08-10

Pics from Ice Storm -Nov 2005

no power - no heat - for roughly 15hrs

Celebrating Milestones

It’s been a hectic and bizarre couple of months, but my Granddaddy made it to 90! He has his good days as well as some bad. We were fortunate enough to catch him having a good day on his birthday and were able to truly celebrate his milestone. Ever the jokester, he tried to put his candle out with his finger when he couldn’t blow it out and made sure I snapped a picture of him trying on his girlfriend’s gift. Thank you to all of you who have held him up in prayer!

This was as far as he got with the sweater.

New Years Resolutions

Typically, I don't make them. By the time the holiday season is over, all I basically want to do is lie on the couch like a slug for -oh- let’s say a week or two. The last thing I want to do is think about making any type of commitment. I do, however, continually set new goals for myself throughout the year and have a general stick-to-it-tiveness (that’s tenacity for all you educated individuals who strive to use big words) to see them through.

That said, I decided after doing my morning reading of current events that I would try and not let people irritate me anymore when they say asinine things. It’s either that or let the sarcasm start flying. Whether or not the timing of this makes it a “resolution” …/shrugs… who knows. I’m just trying to prevent spontaneous combustion.