Practical Jokes

Comedy is an essential part of our family structure. We are constantly joking around with one another and sometimes it’s quite hard to discipline when the laughter threatens to burst forth. That said; as the mother of two boys, I have learned to keep my eyes peeled. Practical jokes could come from anywhere at anytime, so it’s always beneficial to stay alert. Last week however, they got me good. All of my boys were in on it– when I say all, I mean my husband as well – the rotten scoundrel…

First to understand this prank, one must understand that I am an ice freak. Not 2 cubes, not 5 or 10, but all the way to the top – sometimes peeking over the edge – even after it’s filled with drink. And my world comes to an end if we are out of ice. The horror of drinking a beverage short of freezing is enough to send me over the edge.

Anyhow- it was lunch time in the Franklin House that day. I made my way upstairs to make a sandwich. Made my lunch, got my glass, waited for an eternity for the icemaker to spit out the last remnants it contained, was utterly excited when it was enough, filled it with water and sat down to eat lunch.

We were headed out that day so Lee and I ate while the kids changed into more acceptable clothes. We talked about our schedule for the day, if we were eating dinner out, the usual jargon couples discuss at random points during the day.

As I took my last bite, I yelled for the kids to get in the car. They usually find some reason to take 5 more minutes after I’m already in the car, so my objective was to get them into the car before me. This day they were running down the stairs immediately and I thought to myself WhooHoo, this might be a great day.

I put my plate in the dishwasher, sat my glass down and walked to the back to fetch my purse. While getting my purse I had the greatest thought, I’ll put my glass in the freezer to save the ice. I’m a genius! … and that’s when I saw it… there it was… floating somewhere near the bottom of my glass. My throat tightened a little … oh no … no no no … gag gag gag! There was a giant roach in my glass.

Let me tell you, it is amazing how fast your brain works. Like lightening speed – I saw it, panicked, cringed, gagged, had a light bulb go off, and wanted to kill my kids all in a span of like two seconds.

It was a plastic roach, thank the Sweet Jesus. My kids know I’m TER-RI-FIED, terrified I tell you, of roaches. Snakes, rats, spiders … bring ‘em on, but roaches are my nemesis. Lee tells me it was all he could do to keep a straight face while we ate lunch. But that’s ok – ‘cause there aint no pay-back like a mama's pay-back when shes been pranked!